ASK JAM AND PAULO #3
QUESTION: How do you know if which of the men trying to court you is the one God wants for you? Should you entertain him already when he asks you to go out on a first date?
ANSWER: Thank you for the question! There is no clear cut method to figure it out, but the most important starting point is to exercise a life of prayer. Investing in prayer is investing in your future. The first person you talk about that guy (or a girl) to is God.
The second important step is to present the guy to your household and immediate family members. What do they have to say about him? The wisdom of your parents and your family is vital to how you handle situations like this.
Only when you’ve talked about it to God and your parents should you talk about him with your friends and your leaders.
As you can see, you start by looking at how willing you are to share it with God, and then the people around you.
Are you concealing that part of your life from most people you know? Have you never introduced him yet to your parents, family members, leaders, then friends? That’s a good indication that you might not fully like that man for you and that you are simply just enjoying the idea of being wanted due to heartbreaks in the past.
Always go to God, then your family, and if you’re active in church you can tell your churchmates and friends about it too. Be specific and don’t be vague or evasive when talking about him. If you’re not ready or willing to do that, then it might do you good to question if he’s “the one” God wants for you. If you don’t have a church, it’s best to find a local church that can help you.
It’s also important to look at the man’s background. Who does he hang out with often? Is he ready and willing to court God, your mom, and dad, family members, friends, and churchmates?
One of the biggest signs that God wants someone for you is when he loves Jesus more than he likes you. Another sign is when you’re fully confident that everyone around you will grow to like him.
For the second question, it is best not to entertain him until you’ve taken the steps above. Until you’ve sought the advice of God, family, and friends and churchmates (it’s very important to follow that order!). If you really do want to push through on a date, then it’s best to go on a group date. It is best to avoid exclusive dating for your safety and protection.
(Here’s some photos of Paulo with my family. – Jam)
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